Category: Silly Songs

I Should Own a Bakery

A few week ago I stopped at my favorite bakery on the way to work as I had a donut fix that needed to be satisfied. Low and behold I’m pulling up, the lights are off, and there is a sign in the window that they are closed for July. “What?!?!?!” I joked to my wife that we should open a bakery.

This morning I had the same hankering for a donut, so much so I even researched other bakeries in the area. I was set, I was happy, but they were closed for most of July, too.

I believe it is a bakery conspiracy, or God just not wanting me to have a donut on a Friday in July.

And yes, I did eat my almonds. 🙁

If you want to hear more songs about donuts, or lack of donuts in this cae, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

Be Happy With the Rain – Watch and See Me Jump in a Puddle

Here’s my suggestion if the rain gets you down – Go outside and jump in a puddle, like when you were a kid. Suddenly the rain won’t seem so crappy. Let me know when you do it, and how you felt.

Look, I know a lot of folks are getting flooded lately in Illinois with all of the rain, but for a few seconds remember rain doesn’t always suck, and maybe, hopefully, when you were a kid, you jumped in a puddle and enjoyed the water just splashing around. Do it again.

Jumping in a puddle of water!

I did it this morning, jumped in a puddle of water. It was fun, and sure, it took all morning for the bottom of my pants to dry, but it was a great way to start my day, and even with the wet pants I was grinning ear to ear.

If you want to grin ear to ear, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

My Song in the Shower Was Great, But I Forgot It and Now You Get This Crappy One

I really need to carry a recorder in the shower, or a GoPro camera, or a waterproof case for my iPhone. Maybe put a webcam in there.

Yup, in the shower I had a great song. It was kind of country, kind of sounding like Brad Paisley but different enough that I wouldn’t get sued, and I had the whole thing in my head. I tried like hell to keep the song in my head throughout the shower, and I was really hoping to surprise my wife with it.

Then it went away. “Poof!” With every step I took every lyric went away, and on my drive to work, hard as I tried, I couldn’t recreate it.

It was no luck. Now you get this crappy song.

For more crappy songs because I can’t remember the good ones I come up with, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

What Am I Going to Sing About / Last Thing in the Morning

I admit I was lax in my Songs By Andy duties yesterday as the weather was too nice so I took a walk instead of posting my song. Lucky for you, though, today you get a double blast, two songs for the post of one!

Enjoy yesterday’s song first, which my wife called “Cute”, and today’s song about, well, Milo.

If you want more chances of me giving you double blasts of songs, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

I Love You. Now Let Me Waft My Stinky Fart in Your Direction.

Thank God my wife loves me.

I have to admit that it wasn’t a dutch oven, but it might as well have been as I accidentally, and I stress accidentally as this never happens, let a fart slip in bed, my wife asked me how it smelled, and I quickly lifted the covers and let the smell of roses escape in her general direction. I’m such a catch.

If you want to catch more catchy tunes, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

It Becomes About Your Butt

I turned fifty a few months ago. Yay me!

The dreaded moon river momentOf course, when you’re a guy and you turn fifty, well, your first visit to the doctor usually involves butt discussions. Sure, you might have had them as you approach fifty, but now, well, it’s time. In the words of the great Fletch (Chevy Chase), in “Fletch,” I had my “moon river” moment (my prostate was fine) and soon I will be able to tell my stories of a colonoscopy.

Ah, the little things in life to look forward to!

If you would like more fun things to look forward to most every day, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

Watermelon Instead of a Donut

My criteria for being able to get a donut today was if the light where I would turn to get to the donut shop was green.

The light was red.

And so, this morning, instead of a tasty treat of gut-bomb goodness, I got watermelon. I actually like watermelon, but I like donuts more. I suppose I should like watermelon more so I could be nice and lean, but sadly, right now, donuts win, except for this morning.

If you want more guy-bomb goodness, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

It’s Wednesday, Not Monday

If you subscribed to my YouTube channel you would have received this helpful bit of information earlier today, when it mattered.

As it is, I hope you survived your Wednesday that felt like a Monday. The good news is that it’s almost Friday, even though it might feel like a Wednesday.

If you would like to really be confused what day it is, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

The 4th of July on a Tuesday

Quick poll: How many of you like the 4th of July on a Tuesday?

Me, I’m not one of them, and think it is crappy. I believe all federal holidays should be lined up for a Monday or a Friday, or if they are on a Tuesday or Thursday it should be a law that the Monday or Friday are also holidays, as it were, because, hell, no one really wants to work on those days anyhow.

If you want every day to feel like a holiday, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!

No Song to Sing

Ah, one of those days when my head went empty.

At least there is some spinning Milo.

For more spinning, subscribe to my YouTube channel or “Like” “Songs By Andy” on Facebook!